Being Vulnerable

 

We viewed this movie titled " The Power of Vulnerability" in today's class and I thought this was the most insightful Video. This is what i took away from watching the movie.

Connection is why we are here. We as humans connect with everything around us on a daily basis. We have connection to technology, lovers, family, hair, and everything else. It's through connection that we get feelings e.g. When people as each other about love they will most likely always receive answers about heartbreak... So that connection between love and heartache is pretty important to most of us. Then Brene Brown goes on to talk about Shame and how shame (often parallel to excruciating vulnerability) is a fear of disconnection. No one wants to be disconnected, nor do we want to feel shameful.

Being vulnerable means being willing to say I love you first, invest in a relationship that may or may not work out, and step out of your comfort zone even if you feel like crying. Vulnerability is often the birthplace of love, joy, and belonging. Those of us who struggle with allowing ourselves to become vulnerable should know that you aren't alone.

It's funny because we live in this vulnerable world, yet we are numb to being vulnerable and happy. So we need to start to love with our whole hearts, Say you're grateful, believe that you're enough and realize that being vulnerable, although it may seem scary, it is a necessary part of this world. I loved this video!

Variations

In combination with last class, we covered 6 variations to sexual response. So instead of me re-writing all of them out I am simply going to answer the question that was asked of us near the end of class. The question was which of the 4 approaches (being Masters and Johnsons, Freud, Kaplan, and Basson) to sexual response do you find most compelling? Least compelling and why?

I being a female find Basson's approach most compelling. Her view takes a female look at sexual response. She sees the key ingredient for a happy, healthy sexual encounter and that is intimacy both emotional and psychological relation with one’s partner.  I agree 100%. I am an emotional person. I am the type of girl who meets a guy, finds something to like about them and instantly connects with their emotional side. I agree that every sexual encounter needs to have some form of intimacy because without that basis there is no room for the relationship to prosper. Speaking solely from experience, I recently got out of a 3 year relationship. I feel that without some form of social or psychological intimacy, that relationship would have ended a lot sooner. He and I shared an almost friendship where we depended solely on one another and it did (within that time) have a huge impact on how we functioned within other aspects of our relationship. In agreement with Basson, without some sort of emotional connection or intimacy, I think both partners would feel frustrated and overwhelmed with emotion.

The response that I find least compelling would be Freud's perspective. Simply because I feel Freud has a dominant opinion to which is almost a forceful statement. That there is only one type of orgasm for women, vaginal and that all other forms of orgasms are deemed "not good". I feel like he is almost (through his own perspective) still trying to make women feel that if they only have clitoral orgasms that they aren't as important. When in reality, even women who can't have orgasms at all are unique, special and 'good'. Lastly, i disagree with him in that he sees vaginal orgasm to be desirable and that it illustrates healthy psycho-sexual development. I feel like he is saying woman who can't achieve vaginal orgasm aren't developing properly in any aspect in life? Maybe I'm looking too much into his ideas, but for the above reasons, I find Freud the least compelling of all the variations. Thanks!

Sexual Response: Variations

In class today we went over 6 variations to sexual response as well as the people who thought of these variations.

1) Kaplan- Proposed a 3 phase cycle.- Desire- become problematic when it desire is low or non-existent. Creating tension within the relationship.-Excitement- erection and lubrication -Orgasm- Can be an object of dysfunction if orgasm is premature. Also frustrating if women cannot achieve orgasm at all, creating tension.

2) Basson- She took a female look at sexual response. She feels that the key ingredient for happy/healthy sexual encounter is intimacy. Having emotional and psychological relation with partner is key to Basson particularly in long term relationships.

3) Freud- Feels our conscious lives are driven by the unconscious. He feels there are two types of Orgasm for women. - Good Orgasm- which is the vaginal orgasm which is desired and illustrates healthy psycho-sexual development. - Not so Good Orgasm- representing something immature because it doesn't require a man or lead to reproduction.

4) Masters and Johnson- They feel there is only one type of orgasm which is purely psychological explosion of myotonia and muscle tension.

5) Relationships- any sexual experience that occurs within the lines of a relationship.

6) Masturbation- Release sexual tension when sexual interaction with another person is unavailable.

 Socially and culturally empowering for most people.

Orgasm

This class we discussed the orgasm for the female and the male. I found it difficult to do the class activity because I have never heard a guy's explanation of what an orgasm feels like for them. I learned that guys don't just see it as an addiction; rather they feel other emotions and feelings are attached to sharing an orgasm with their partners. In most experiences that I’ve heard from friends, the males are selfish and only seek to have themselves orgasm, which I feel is extremely rude. I thought that only women were comfortable with sharing the emotional side and descriptive feelings involved with the lead up to, and orgasm itself. I have noticed through many of my past relationships’ that I become emotionally attached way quicker than they guys and I feel like that is almost a common trait in many female- male relationships. I think this has a lot to do with what happens in the bedroom, women feel they shouldn't be selfish and should do everything they can to satisfy the male. In reality, it should be a 50/50 split job. We should be getting satisfied just as much if not more than your partner. I think this is where an orgasm for a woman can be stressful because we feel we need to almost ask a man to help us, when in the perfect world they would just offer! 

In class we went over the 4 stages in the sexual response cycle which were 1) Excitement- arousal, foreplay 2) Plateau- physical components are stimulated 3) Orgasmic- sever muscle contractions of genitals, producing pleasure 4) Resolution- cool down.

I found this class very thought provoking because it solidified my thoughts about the orgasm from the females perspective and it changed my ideal perspective the man had on orgasm. It clarified that both male and female can explain an orgasm along the same emotionally attached lines.

Male Anatomy and Physiology

In today's class we examined a movie called  " Private Dicks: Men Exposed" which was a summary of how different men feel about their penises. To my surprise I did not feel uncomfortable at all. I think this video was more useful in understanding where men come from because it was filmed in such a relaxed, casual environment. The men discussed their experiences throughout their childhood regarding an almost comparison between their penis and others. The diversity within this film is what made it so eye opening for me because I personally haven't thought about the different perspectives (Young, old, race, etc.) I've always thought and accepted the stereotype that all African American guys have larger penises than any other race... But now after viewing that film, I realize that is not the case and that all men (African American or not) are different in size, along with other things.

From a female's perspective, this video allowed me inside the mind of a man for a few minutes which i think is ever girls dream. Guys never want to talk about their emotions, how they're feeling, or anything to make them seem vulnerable. So thanks Dr.Nellis for allowing me the ability to “read a male's mind" for a few minutes ha-ha. I know feel as if I understand the common insecurities and securities that any man may have and I know this will help me in friendships as well as future relationships with men!

Female Anatomy and Physiology

We watched a film in today's class called ' The Vagina Monologues". I found this video to almost have a stereotypical, harsh perspective when it comes to girls getting their periods. Yes it isn't the most pleasant thing in the world but like we discussed in our small groups it is different for every girl. The actors in the film were acting out only a few scenarios of what it is like not really painting a pretty picture for us viewers. Some girls get it when they're younger than others, as well; some aren't really affected by it at all while others let it control their lives.

I feel this is definitely a touchy subject to men simply because they aren't aware of what really goes on. I feel they see it as something that is repulsive, dirty, and most of the times don’t want to ever talk about it. It's reality! It'd be a scary thing if us woman didn't get our period.

I look at it as something I’m blessed with. At first it scared me because I wasn't really told it was going to happen until it did, but when it occurred i didn't allow it to frighten me. I took it on and it just became a part of my lifestyle, like most girls. Of course i still to this day despise going in to the grocery store to buy tampons and pads but now after seeing the video i almost learned not to care because it is such an important thing to have in any woman's life. We as woman need to embrace it, adapt, move forward and be proud of what we are given.

Alfred Kinsey

Alfred Kinsey is a huge scientific figure who poses ground breaking, large-scale, intervening research. His primary goal is to gain sex history with thousands of people across the United States. In his research we find a sampling bias. His interviewing criterion is as follows:

- White (Caucasian)

-Middle Class (well educated)

- Many were actually prisoners, prostitutes.

The research he did was very carefully collected information and done in a very systematic way.

I love the idea Kinsey had. I feel that gaining knowledge about sexual activity is beneficial to know as a society. I also love how he was careful as to which information to gather.  We watched a clip from the film Kinsey and in the film I noticed Kinsey was particular about who even did the interviews which I thought was very respectable. He made sure the interviewers had no bias in the way that they asked the questions which i am sure made the world of difference because making the chosen people being interviewed comfortable would be crucial in obtaining accurate outcomes. Overall I loved this video and Kinsey's ideas.